I go crazy every Halloween. Like, batshit crazy. I decorate my apartment from head to toe, I eat a diabetic amount of candy, I even buy products based solely on their Halloween packaging (I’m looking at you, Ghoul-Aid). I also tend to have a theme for the films I watch all month (or four [cause Halloween starts in July when they start putting out candy]). Last Halloween, it was Vincent Price.
Proof the Kool-Aid guy is filled with the blood of children
House on Haunted Hill was one of the films I watched, and embodies what I think could be the linchpin for the increased popularity of Halloween. Scary things are introduced to us when we’re younger but are usually in the form of something non-traumatizing and child friendly (see candy pales from your local McDonald’s, circa 1995). Throughout the years as we grow through adolescents into adulthood, we’re fed more of the “scary” aspects of Halloween, sort of like a drug we develop a tolerance to over time. It also sort of explains why lots of horror directors are going for the most intense, bloodbastic films they can possibly make. As children, I’m sure their parents sought counseling.
“Someone unplug grandma”
That’s why I’ve always been high on this film. House on Haunted Hill is a lot of fun but provides some genuine scares to keep the audience engaged (Jesus, did you see that deaf lady?!).
Year 1: Halloween pail. Year 2-9: Sandcastle maker.
What’s It About
Frederick Lauren (Price) throws the ultimate house party by renting an enormous mansion, inviting only five guests, and totally dropping the ball by not booking a house band. His guests, while enticed by the $10,000 they receive if they stay the night, can’t help but question the eccentric millionaires motives. At the start of the film, we are introduced to the brave souls willing to spend a night at the House on Haunted Hill:
The Lucky Charms/Twilight Zone crossover episode.
Watson Pritchard – Drunk guy who doesn’t seem to have any deep connection to the plot. This is the guy you invited to your 10th birthday party but immediately wished you hadn’t.
Lance Schroeder – Flight pilot, handsome, makes fun of Pritchard for looking like a leprechaun.
Ruth Bridges – Columnist, gambling addict, Price awkwardly hits on her 15 minutes and 40 seconds into the film.
Nora Manning – Works for Lauren, needs the money, succumbs to typical 1950’s hysteria very early on.
Dr. David Trent – Of course there’s a doctor…
We are also introduced to Price’s wife, Annabelle Lauren. She openly, if only to him, would prefer to see Price dead in the interest of money. Price’s disdain for her, his fourth wife, is apparent in his playful, yet sinister remarks geared towards his wife’s impending death. They both fucking hate each other, pretty much sums it up. The party becomes a sort of cat and mouse game where each spouse is waiting for the other to make the first move. The guests in the house are basically pawns.
If you find a Vincent Price going through your trash cans, call animal control, they’ll come take him and release him into the Hollywood Foothills.
Things start getting creepy when Nora and Lance go down to the basement and encounter an inline skating caretaker who hasn’t conditioned since Bela Lugosi last turned down a role. This is the genesis of Nora starting to lose her fucking mind…oh, she also finds a severed head in her bag, which may have had something to do with it. While she proceeds to alienate herself in her room, so does everyone else. The doctor seems quite angry with Price’s treatment of his wife. You almost would think they’re having an affair!….Haha, silly, right? RIGHT?!
Major Spoiler.
They are.
Someone keeps outbidding me for this.
Annabelle is found hanging at the top of the stairs, an apparent suicide. Everyone’s suspicion turns to Price. While Lance and Dr. Trent untie the rope and lower Mrs. Lauren, Price does his best “Didn’t see that coming!” impression. After being grilled for questions by the other guests about the apparent suicide, Price himself admits that he believes his wife was murdered. Tensions grow as all the guests start suspecting one another. They retire to their respective rooms in anticipation of the morning hours when the caretakers arrive.
Poor Nora just so happens to see Annabelle’s ghost hanging outside her window and does the only logical thing possible and starts running around with a gun, eventually making her way to the basement. She eventually runs into Price who she shoots in her confused state. Dr. Trent is first on the scene and while no ones around, decides he’s just going to throw Price’s body in a vat of acid. Price, alive because trigger happy Nora’s gun was filled with blanks, does some kind of kung-fu move and in goes Dr. Trent. The very much alive Annabelle journeys downstairs soon afterward to find a skeleton walking around. It creeps her out so bad, she’s literally frozen with fear. It then gives her a skeleton high five on the shoulder and she too goes into the acid bath. The skeleton? Price is later revealed to have controlled the skeleton with wires and pulleys. Would this work in real life? Absolutely.
When you hear your town is getting a Five Guys
Highlights and Lowlights
The film is essentially an (eventual) murder mystery dressed as a haunted house story for added atmosphere, and maybe some misdirection. I like how it’s never really confirmed if the house is really haunted, that part they leave up to the viewer.
The personalities, while sometimes simple and stereotypical, really give the film the diversity it needs to keep you guessing. Price is in top form, as usual.
There’s a genuine eeriness about the set that makes the performance all the more authentic. The music only emphasizes the creepiness.
Anything bad?
It’s only 75 minutes long.
And the ending is rather abrupt, kind of leaving you wanting more (is that really such a bad thing??).
Conclusion
Overall, this move is great. It doesn’t take it self too seriously with a slight leniency to the campy-ness of a classic haunted house film, while maintaining a serious tone of a classic murder mystery. While there is a colorized version out there worth checking out, this film really thrives in black and white.
This film gets 4 Necronomicons out of 5…or at least until I can figure out a better grading system….
-S.C.
The Evil Read 